Do you commemorate Andrew WK? He was the constantly sudory, hard-rocking madman from the former 2000s who was noted for composition songs similar “Company Arduous” and those over-the-counter songs almost partingying.
He hush tours, and records albums, and I’m middling certain he hosted a display on VH1 for a spell, but I’m not confident, because what could it peradventure birth been around? He seems alike a hard-hitting long-standing rumors that he may be fancied, thither’s cipher too singular approximately him. Demur, perchance, for the fact that he is the
If you don’t surveil him already, you real pauperism to starting. Let me distinguish you a piddling roughly what I’ve well-educated from Andrew WK based on his tweeting.
It’s potential that you are a rear with awful kids. Alwaysy import that they’re awake, they flummox you in unambiguously unbelievable shipway, with their glare, their instinctive benignity, and their smiles. They’re subdued and dessert and unspoiled and, someways, they’re yours. You aspect at your vivid, beautiful children e’ery day and retrieve How did something so consummate, virgin and clean-handed cum from me? How did I do something so rightfield? When they jape, you thaw, and the reality makes smell.
Or possibly you’ve launch person who makes your sprightliness nail. A limited man or womanhood who fills in all of the gaps of your personality. Singly, you’re just two confused, frail parts, roving approximately in this wakeful sprightliness, urgently yet listlessly inquisitory for import. Unitedly, you’re a unanimous, a amply accomplished soul. Somebody who calms you fine-tune, soul who makes you smell young and warm and audacious. When you matrimonial her, it made up for alwaysy bad decisiveness you’d e’er made in your stallion sprightliness. When you waken up adjacent to her in the dawn, the just affair you cognise you couldn’t brass is not eyesight her again. E’eryaffair else –losing your job, acquiring into a car fortuity, end, Hell– is just a shaver infliction in equivalence to existence without her for just one day.
Andrew WK tweets astir officeying with a apparently inconceivable eubstance. It’s all he does. Literally, alwaysy indorsement of e’ery day is fagged either partingying or tweeting astir partingying. I can’t envisage how he has a vocation out of doing this or, inferno, how he flush has sentence to eat nachos what with all of the sentence he dedicates to tweeting almost nachos, but he does.
On and on, with the portionying. Hither’s an unedited draw of straight Andrew WK tweets:
No topic how large your kid is, you’ll birth moments where you just wish approximately peacefulness and concealment, approximately detachment. Andrew WK isn’t ilk that with shareying. He started shareying in a exertion fen of about tolerant erstwhile approximately 2000 when the nigh venturesome immortalize administrator on the satellite distinct to springiness him a declaration and a patronage striation and he hasn’t stopped-up since. The parties that he describes are so raw they don’t flush look substantial. It’s care he’s channeling a kid’s discernment of parties, alike he’s cobbled unitedly this effigy of a company based on old college movies and overheard conversations.
But company floors are ever so viscid…
His parties all appear to strait same 80s flick company montages.
I honey that he separates and highlights “#ShareyHardHandShake,” as if that exceptional hashtag bequeath grab on, as if it was really applicable to any post otc than an Andrew WK pinch. He creates a break hashtag for it, but beingness Andrew WK is literally the just sane apology to use #PartingyHardHandShake.
Former on, in my misanthropic, measly, consumed-by-the-internet nous, I scoffed at Andrew WK’s sponsor Company Tips. What a thug, I cerebration. What a gooselike rot of chitter, I added, ahead reversive to my recitation of mailing attentive, recondite, intriguing and elysian tweets. I laughed at how cockamamie he was, and particularly how attached he was to tweeting most contributionying. No one is that into roleying. And I loved that, for the virtually parting, his COMPANY TIPS aren’t flush technically helpful. “COMPANY TIP: Crapulence plentitude of pee so you don’t get desiccated.” That would be a upstanding Company Tip. Alternatively, we get:
But so I started intellection roughly Andrew WK. Alike, rattling intelligent some him, as I barrack you all to do on a jolly habitue base. Because I endure in a jaded, dread humans where e’eryone -be it a TV personality, coworker, unknown on the bus, etc- is perpetually egotistically stressful to onward their own personal schedule, I sham WK was doing the like. I’ve been let devour by politicians and teachers to recognize that e’eryone is forever fabrication, e’eryone is functional an slant, and no one is real sounding out for anyone. It was raw for me to close that WK was push his own schedule, but I reconsidered. What schedule could that be? It’s not similar he’s doing this to pee money or anything. Portionying isn’t a tummy, it’s not something you can buy gunstock in, he’s not benefiting financially if more citizenry company. And sure no one asked Andrew WK to twirp almost roleying round-the-clock. “Who benefits,” I unbroken shrieking to the mountaintops. “Whoever parties hardest.” The response seemed to happen out of nada, as if the heart of the land had tweeted it. Dammit, he’s veracious. Because uncomplicated, unmindful contributionying is WK’s total delegation. He’s not nerve-racking to bear contributionying leading to lawlessness, or anything. He tweets most this faint theme of a flashy, food-filled, constant company because he has a complete and complete nearly wide-eyed hold of the act of portionying. He loves it, and he thinks you’ll honey it, too. I mocked his upheaval, his body, his receptivity. I mocked these things but, genuinely, I was jealous, and I didn’t eve cognize it. Jealous, because Andrew WK is one of the near complete beings that has e’er existed and leave always live. I’ve ne’er been that unashamedly supportive roughly anything. No one commits as amply as WK, no one. He is singularly focussed: He doesn’t detest your euphony. He doesn’t remember you arrange queer. He’s not prod you to balloting this November. He’s neither fight nor encouraging The Man. He isn’t locution we should rattling care some our fire ingestion, or our intervention of animals, or illegal in-migration, and he doesn’t consecrate a darn astir Darfur. He just wants you to bear a goodness meter. Invariably. Just company. Grueling. And I live what you’re intellection. “Certainly I can’t just survive ilk that. Thither are taxes. Laws. My deary establish is on. My sports squad is playacting this weekend. I sustain to go to the dentist. I seaport’t been to the gym in years. I don’t let wellness policy. I let a unsighted engagement to go on. I should real scratch preservation for Christmas presents. Alwaysyone is unemployed. Sure aliveness isn’t as unproblematic as ‘company backbreaking all the meter.’” But what if it is? Daniel O’Brien is expiration to be the company.
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